Galia Slayen flaunts her hideously distorted Barbie effigy, and her stupidity.

Voodoo Doll Feminism

We finally have a poster child for vapid feminist stupidity. Her name is Galia Slayen. Ms. Slayen is currently a student at Hamilton College where, apparently, mathematics is not taught.

In a recent appearance on MSNBC’s Today Show, a grinning Ms. Slayen displayed the grotesque effigy of a Barbie doll that she had stitched together as a student at Lincoln High School in Portland, Oregon.

As Galia recalled, “I was at a friend’s house and her mom’s an artist so there were all these art materials around. She helped me with the actual proportions.”

In truth, the math-challenged and dog-lazy Ms. Slayen was enraptured by a set of completely bogus measurements that were floated into the Fem-O-Sphere decades ago by a crew of Australian feminists who were also incapable of doing simple mathematics.

Ms. Slayen had built her grotesque, six-foot-high effigy of Barbie using totally ridiculous numbers. It was a freakish Frankenstein made of wood, chicken wire, papier mache and rubber balloons with preposterously inflated breasts, stick legs and a dwarfishly tiny head. Slayen had constructed her creep-show Barbie for National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. She demonstrated her intellectual depth with these words: “I’m blond and blue-eyed and I figured that was what I was supposed to look like. She was my idol. It impacted the way I looked at myself.”

Got that? Seven and a quarter ounces of vinyl plastic was her idol and the model of “what I was supposed to look like.”

When Slayen dragged her hideous Barbie monstrosity to class at Hamilton College, “All fellow students admitted they felt shame and disgrace after seeing the extreme proportions of the doll,” according to one feminist website.

“It’s a shocking image,” the clueless Slayen told the Huffington Post. “A lot of people have seen it, and it’s started debates. Her proportions are 100 percent correct, but her look is not valid.”

Galia Slayen is an idiot, babbling nonsense. The Huffington Post lapped up her drivel and uncritically passed it along to its equally uncritical readers. Anyone with a Barbie, a caliper and a strip of paper could have unmasked this feminist mythology in a minute, but liberals don’t question feminist mythology.

Making matters worse, some halfwit “spokesperson” at Mattel said, “It’s important to remember that Barbie is a doll who stands 11.5 inches tall and weighs 7.26 ounces – she was never modeled on the proportions of a real person.”

What kind of defense is that!? Let’s do the dopes at Mattel a million-dollar favor. Let’s do the math.

First, get a Barbie and strip her naked.
Second, wrap ribbons of paper around her bust, waist and hips. Mark the circumference of each.
Third, lay the ribbons flat and measure each ribbon.
Fourth, choose a height for Barbie. An average height would be 5 foot 7 inches. After that, its all fifth-grade arithmetic.

My butt-naked Barbie measured 11.173 inches from her heel to the crown of her head. If that 11.173 inches is equal to 67 inches (5’7”), then my Barbie’s measurements are: bust 29.257 inches, waist 18.937 inches, hips 30.267 inches. If I assumed that Barbie’s height was 72 inches (6 feet), then her bust increases to a modest 31.44 inches, not the 39 inches that fevered feminists insist is warping the minds of American girls. The reduced waist-to-hip ratio helps Barbie’s clothes fit better; that is what Mattel means when they say she is not modeled on typical human proportions; it was not a reference to her bosom. Barbie is all about the clothes.

Years ago, when I wrote Satan’s Plastic Sister (in this series), I measured an older version of Barbie. She was 11.133 inches tall. At an assumed height of 5 feet 9 inches, she had a bust of 34.5 inches and 30.5 inch hips. The only way to get Barbie’s bust up to 38 or 39 inches was to assume that she was also freakishly tall. To get a 38 inch bust, Barbie must be 6 feet 4 inches tall – a basketball league contender.

It took me three minutes with a caliper and a calculator to mount this crushing rebuttal to every brainless feminist assault on sweet pink Barbie. Memo to the Multi-Million-Dollar Mattel Corporation: replace your over-paid “spokesperson” with the guy down in your model shop, that guy in the denim overalls, the one who makes your Barbie injection molds, the guy who measures stuff, the guy who mastered fifth-grade math.. That guy will save you from all of your pathetic and baseless guilt about Barbie’s non-existent abnormal proportions.

It was obvious that Galia Slayen was wasting someone’s earnings on her college education. What made her imbecilic yammering entertaining was the reflexive manner in which other upper-crust feminists rallied round Slayen’s fact-absent narrative.

Doctor Robyn Silverman put her professional reputation on the line by endorsing Slayen’s beastly effigy with its blimp-sized balloon breasts. Silverman appeared alongside Slayen for an anti-Barbie tongue-cluck on MSNBC’s Today Show. On her website, Silverman declared that “Standing at about six feet tall, with a 39 inch bust, 18 inch waist, and 33 inch hips, Galia used stats published in Margo Maine’s fabulous book, Body Wars, to construct the details.”

There’s just one problem, Dr. Silverman: the fabulous Margo Maine is just as lazy and clueless and stupid as you are. Her numbers are junk and her declarations are trash. Margo can’t do simple math.

There they were on the Today Show – Galia Slayen, Dr. Robyn Silverman and some MSNBC spokesfem – all of them rail thin blond Barbie clones – and all of them denouncing Barbie as a menace to impressionable girls. Beside them towered Galia’s freakish zeppelin-breasted effigy with its tiny head. Not one of these women noticed that Galia’s creature bore no resemblance to the modestly-proportioned Barbie dolls displayed only inches away. It didn’t enter their heads that Galia’s doll had wildly different proportions, even though it was obvious to any casual observer. Feminist ideology was blinding all of them to the truth, which was right in front of them.

I had hoped to lay all the falsehoods about Barbie to rest when I wrote Satan’s Plastic Sister, but I underestimated the lock-step stupidity of the average liberal female. And it isn’t just clueless white girls who blame Barbie for their struggles with cheeseburgers; lots of stupid black girls also want to blame Barbie for their low self esteem.

Writing in her Sistertalk page in Ebony magazine, Laura B. Randolph says, “You may want to make sure you’re sitting down before you read this next part. Okay, now breathe deeply. In, out. For years, people have hypothesized that, if translated into human proportions, Barbie’s measurements would be 38-18-34. Mattel has never confirmed or denied these measurements . . .”

Ms. Randolph frets that, “If we aren’t careful, the outsize measurements of a little plastic doll can send all the wrong messages to a little living doll who is at an age when she is forming her notions of beauty.”

Well, first of all, Ms. Randolph, it isn’t necessary for Mattel to confirm or deny anything. Anyone with a Barbie can measure it and confirm, within minutes, that the numbers “some people have hypothesized” are trash numbers “hypothesized” by some jive idiots who skipped math class. Can you hear me, Sister? The doll’s measurements are not “outsize” and sending “all the wrong messages” to little black girls.

The most destructive messages being sent to little black girls are being sent by their hideously obese mothers. As Michelle Obama observed, “One third of all children today will eventually suffer from diabetes – and in the African American and Latino communities, that number goes to almost half.”

As long ago as 2005, Ebony magazine was citing the American Obesity Association’s data that over 50 percent of American black women were obese – morbidly fat, with body-mass-index numbers of 30 and above. Those numbers haven’t changed. Little Barbie isn’t the problem; Barbie is a model of self control. It’s Fat Momma who is the menace. If Momma could just resist the temptation to slide one more sheet cake into her fat face . . . But she can’t resist; she doesn’t even try to resist.

The Ebony scribblers argue that the BMI numbers for black women are too low, that black women are naturally bulbous, beamy and roly-poly. In their eyes, fat is the new beautiful because black and fat are now synonymous. Never mind that blacks are dropping like flies from diabetes, hypertension, cancer, strokes and heart disease and that their life expectancy is a mere 60 years.

When I was young, black people were generally thin or athletically built. Today they are America’s preeminent wide bodies. Two thirds of African Americans over twenty years of age are overweight or obese. Four out of five black women (80%) are overweight or obese. African-American women of all ages report doing less exercise than their white counterparts. The “black community” is a matriarchy and the family matriarch is typically overweight and sedentary, so it’s no surprise that black men and black children are also packing on the pounds. Seventy percent of overweight adolescents will become an overweight adult. That number jumps to 80% if one or both parents are overweight.

On his insightful website, Death to Diabetes, African-American author DeWayne McCulley explains:

The “soul food” tradition adds to the problem in some African-American households. Most of the recipes are passed down from generation to generation, usually from families who originated from the southern states. There is a strong social component to this style of cooking, centered around family gatherings or opportunities for the family’s matriarch to show her love for the family. However, traditional soul food is often cooked with fat, sugar and unhealthy amounts of salt that contribute to weight gain and high blood pressure. Ironically, soul food is often considered “good food,” as compared to fast-food, so the perception of healthy food choices are also skewed.

So black culture and black-African genetics have combined to create an American healthcare disaster. Latinos join then in the same ruinous decline. These undisciplined fatties tend to cluster in that bottom 40% of our population that pays no federal tax whatsoever, but expects a gush of “entitlement” money from the struggling taxpayers of other cultures who made the effort to learn English, paid attention in class, acquired skills and somehow managed to bear the majority of their babies with a husband in the family. The white and Asian communities would be destroyed if they were compelled to finance the healthcare of so many lazy and irresponsible people.

In this age of Obama and late-stage feminism, numbers mean nothing. Just point an accusing finger at that little vinyl doll. It’s the New Voodoo; Barbie is the enemy. So plug your ears; close your eyes; believe in magic. From now on no one is responsible for the consequences of his behavior. Focus all your worries on the little plastic doll. Go to sleep.

If you would like to see Galia's "Today Show" appearance, click here.

Thomas Clough
Copyright 2011
April 29, 2011